Work

Thanks to everyone for your prayers the past 2 weeks as I've gone back to work. I must say that it has been easier than I thought it would be which is a blessing. My workload isn't too heavy right now as we are just in the ramp up phase for our busy fall campus recruiting season. I'm able to feed Madison Claire in the morning and spend some time with her when she wakes up before I start working. I'm also able to see her throughout the day when I want to and so far I feel like I am able to get my Madison Claire fix. It certainly helps that I really like Annie and feel so comfortable with her being with Madison.

This past week I had to travel to Chicago for some meetings so it was my first out of town trip for work. I was really dreading it but it wasn't too bad. I definitely missed Madison but it wasn't unbearable. I did get a lot of funny looks at the office asking for the "mothers room" location so I could pump and trying to get all of the breastmilk through security at the airport! What a riot!

I'm hopeful that the coming months will go as smoothly as these first 2 weeks. Your continued prayers are definitely appreciated! Here are a few pictures of my little worker bee!

While work is going okay, we definitely miss our daytime naps & swimming in the bathtub (we don't have a pool so we have to improvise - thanks for the idea Ash!)

Nanny Annie!

We are so thankful for our Nanny Annie! Annie graduated from Freed Hardeman University this past Spring and is hoping to go to Fashion school in California one day. She is so great with Madison Claire and has really helped me feel comfortable going back to work because I know Madison is in such good hands! Annie reads to her, plays with her, gets her out in the sun, feeds her, puts her down, and even helps me with some light housework around the house - it doesn't get much better than that! We're looking forward to welcoming Annie to our family and the fun times to come in the months ahead as Madison Claire grows! I keep telling Annie about all of these things I want the 3 of us to do and then I have to remind myself that I have to work - BOO HISS!! What fun it would be to have a nanny and not have to work!!! Maybe one day....one can dream!

How did this happen?

I mean seriously....how can my sweet little angel baby already be this BIG??? She sat in her Bumbo chair for the first time 2 weeks ago and held her head up like she was an old pro! This a picture from the first night:



She's also done the following at 3.5 months :


*Found her feet - she is fascinated by them!



*Turned into a rolly polly - too bad she can't quite figure out how to get back to her back so she rolls over and then ends up frustrated at some point on her tummy. We help her out and put her back on her back only for her to immediately roll over again and the cycle begins!! It really is darling - she lifts up her legs, tilts them to the side and off she goes. She mastered it very quickly and is not content on her back now unless she is rolling - too cute!



*Begun reaching at things - she will reach for toys hanging from her car seat or mobiles, reach out to touch pages of books, and reach for you when you are holding her


*Found her voice - this technically happened around the 3 month mark - she is loud and just talks and talks. We love hearing her talk!




*Had an internal debate every time she eats - she can't figure out if she wants the breast or her thumb. She gets her little hand as close to her mouth as she possibly can while eating and you can just see her trying to decide which she really wants.





She is still sleeping like a champ and has such a great temperament. Uncle Dave says she has the best temperament of any baby he has ever known - and he's known a lot! I know these days are flying by so we are trying to cherish them each and every day!

Tribute to the Morgans

11 Alive News did a touching tribute on the Morgan's tonight...check it out:

http://www.11alive.com/video/default.aspx?aid=109796&storyid=132438 

Random Thoughts

I can't believe that I will go back to work tomorrow.  It seems like the past 3.5 months have just flown by.  As I think about that time, I've had a few random thoughts that I wanted to share so I would always remember feeling this way.  

In many ways, I think I was born to be a mom.  I never knew that having a child could fill my heart with so much love and bring my life so much joy.  Madison Claire genuinely just makes me happy - all of the time!  I know some skeptics out there think I am sugar coating motherhood but honestly, for me, every time I look at her sweet face..even when she is crying...I am filled with joy.  Most of you who know me well know that I can be pretty high strung and stressed at times.  I would have thought that Madison Claire would have just compounded these traits in me...that her inability to adhere to my schedule & plans would be frustrating beyond belief but I have found the opposite to be true.  She has mellowed me out in so many ways.  It really is unbelievable and if you've spent much time around me as a mom, I think you would agree.

Being a mom has also allowed me to have such a deeper appreciation for my own mom.  She has been such an amazing cheerleader for us our whole lives.  Mom - I appreciate your sacrifices and love for all of us kids.  You were always there for us and created the home environment that allowed us to have such a special relationship growing up.  I know you always credit dad for being such a huge influence in our lives and you are right - he certainly was - but you don't give yourself enough credit either.  I pray with all of my heart that I can be as good, strong, loving, encouraging and fun of a mom as you are!  I don't say it enough but I want you to know how much I admire you and love you.  Thank you for all that you do!

Being a parent is such a responsibility and as Ryan and I think about and pray about raising Madison Claire, we are so thankful for our own parents and how they raised us.  I am thankful to Cheryl & Gary for raising such an incredible husband and now father.  I am also thankful to my parents for fostering such a great sense of family amongst my siblings. 

I continue to be overwhelmed with love for my amazing husband as I watch him be a father to Madison Claire.   When I see his heart melt at her smile and his big, strong arms holding her while she sleeps I fall in love with him all over again.  I feel so blessed - truly to overflowing - that I find myself on the verge of tears of joy almost daily.  God has looked on me with favor and I am so undeserving.  I am thankful and humbled. 

Prayers for the Morgans

Many of you have been praying for our friends the Morgans over the past few years.  We are saddened that both Missy & Ryan lost their battles to cancer this week.  Missy passed away on Wednesday evening and Ryan joined her in heaven on Friday afternoon.  We are glad that Missy and Ryan are no longer in any pain but are grieving with Les, Heidi & Will.  Please pray for them during this time - that God would give them a peace that we can't understand, that they would turn to each other & God for comfort, and that their friends/family would surround them with love.  We will be headed to Atlanta next Friday for a combined memorial service on Saturday afternoon.  

When I think about Missy, the image that comes to mind is a cheerleader.  I remember our first lighthouse 5 years ago.  We were the "Red hots" for our beach olympic team and Missy was not about to just do the red-hots cheer and be done with it.  Oh no - she took everyones Lighthouse bandana on the team and dyed them red with food coloring so we could show our spirit!  One day we went down to the beach for olympics and they had spelled Red Hots in the sand!  It was HUGE & had seaweed on top of it so you could have seen it from an airplane!  It was such fun and all Missy's idea.  I also think about how encouraging she was.  Even during the midst of her own struggles, she would take time to write encouraging comments on this blog.  She was so excited when I got pregnant and was so thoughtful - always sending little notes & gifts for Madison Claire.  I will also remember how she grew in her faith. Last summer at the Lighthouse she told me that she had come to accept that she was going to lose Ryan to cancer probably that year and that God was in control. She was an amazing wife, mother & friend...with so much energy and strength.  I will miss her terribly.

When I think about Ryan, the image that comes to mind is him walking down the street at Rosemary Beach from the town hall to the Barbados pool our first summer at the lighthouse.  He had wandered off and we couldn't find him...my parents literally lost him during flip flop time!  We sent out a search crew of volunteers to look for him and I happened to be one of the ones that saw him walking down the street by himself at 6 years of age!  Knowing Ryan as well as I do now, this isn't surprising to me that he would wander off and do his own thing...but it sure freaked us out then!  Ryan loved to make others smile & get into trouble!  I remember the special bond he had with my dad..."Mr. Steve" as he calls him.  That entire week he was either in my dads arms or on his shoulders.  It was so sweet and we all grew so attached to him!  Fast forward a few years and I remember meeting the Morgans at Jillians in Atlanta to have dinner and play games.  Ryan wanted to come back home with us and spend the night with Patrick.  I remember visiting him in the hospital numerous times, especially when he had his brain surgery.  I remember last summer at the Lighthouse him running in front of the stage while Todd Fields was playing - always the center of attention! At the end of that trip, my Ryan gave little Ryan one of his Mr. Clean shirts...it was the one I had bought him in France.  Ryan was so happy!  I remember visiting with them at their house this past Thanksgiving and Ryan asking where "Big Ryan" was.  I will miss his quirkyness and the little smile he gets when he is embarrassed.  I will not forget him.

As I think about how this could happen to one family, I must admit that I just don't understand.   It seems like it is too much to bear.  I am reminded of the Casting Crowns song "Praise you in this storm".  The lyrics are below:

I was sure by now,God, that You would have reached down 
and wiped our tears away, 
stepped in and saved the day. 
But once again, I say amen 
and it's still raining 
as the thunder rolls 
I barely hear You whisper through the rain, 
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls 
I raise my hands and praise 
the God who gives and takes away. 

Chorus: 
And I'll praise you in this storm 
and I will lift my hands 
for You are who You are 
no matter where I am 
and every tear I've cried 
You hold in your hand 
You never left my side 
and though my heart is torn 
I will praise You in this storm 

I remember when I stumbled in the wind 
You heard my cry to You
and raised me up again 
my strength is almost gone how can I carry on 
if I can't find You 
and as the thunder rolls 
I barely hear You whisper through the rain 
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls 
I raise my hands and praise 
the God who gives and takes away 

Chorus 

I lift my eyes onto the hills 
where does my help come from? 
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth 
I lift my eyes onto the hills 
where does my help come from? 
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth 

Chorus 

My heart truly is torn but I know that I serve a God that is bigger than all of this.  If you remember, Missy was very sick last Thanksgiving and for all intensive purposes, should have died then.  The Lord saved her - literally a miracle - and gave her 7 more months with her family.  I don't claim to know or understand why things happen the way that they do but I can't help but wonder if the Lord didn't keep her alive so that she could spend the time with her family and die right before Ryan to be there for him when he died...to welcome him to heaven.  Ryan was on so much pain medication when she died that it is hard to know how much he understood or comprehended what was happening...I think this is a blessing because he wasn't able to be afraid.  Les said on their blog that Missy is holding one of her babies and I believe with all of my heart that this is true.  She is holding Ryan in heaven and they are in no more pain.  

We are thankful to God & the Lighthouse for bringing our families together and grieve with Les, Heidi and Will as they navigate the coming weeks, months & years.  Lord - grant them peace.

5 Years!

Friday, July 3rd was our 5 year anniversary!  When I really think about it, it feels like a time warp.  In some ways it feels like I have been married to Ryan forever because I can't imagine my life without him in it everyday and in some ways I can't believe that it has been 5 years because the time has just flown by!  We celebrated down in Destin at my parents condo.  We were there by ourselves from Tuesday - Saturday while Madison Claire was in Atlanta with my parents.  We had a great time laying out by the pool, doing our p90x workouts, making endless concoctions with the VitaMix blender (our anniversary gift to ourselves!) and just being together.  Our anniversary night we went to the Red Bar for dinner and had our favorite crab cakes....Yum!  I am so thankful for my sweet husband...I am blessed!

Saturday we drove to Atlanta to pick up our little punkin and now our family is complete once again!  We stopped in Chattanooga on Sunday to see Papa Howard in the hospital.  Mama Howard, Aunt Frances, and Aunt Lynn kept Madison Claire while we went to the hospital.  She had so much fun with them!  We were able to show him the video of Madison swimming on my computer and he thought it was "so cute" in his words.  He also said he thought that she looked like both of us.   Please continue to pray for his health & recovery.  Please also pray for my Aunt Lynn as she is going through treatment for Breast Cancer.  I hate cancer.