Happy Birthday, Madison Claire Bear!!

Madison Claire is 2 years old today...how can that be?!? I still remember her like this:

And like this:

And here she is this morning (gotta love that 2 year old attitude!!)

Here's my precious angel:

Ryan and I went upstairs and opened her door to sing Happy Birthday to her. She stood there in the dark staring at us with a blank look on her face like "what is going on here"? She didn't smile, she didn't duck her head, she just stood there looking at us like we were crazy! Oh well!

She doesn't really get the whole "birthday" thing but we had a great day anyway! I took the day off of work to spend the day with her and we had such fun!

First stop - Krispy Kreme with mommy & Annie for a birthday doughnut!

She kept saying "oh wow" as she watched the doughnuts...it was precious!

She's a girl after her moms heart - loves the chocolate icing on a doughnut!

They brought her balloons - her favorite!

Next stop...gymnastics class! They all sang Happy Birthday to her again and once again she stood there just staring at everyone. Hilarious.

Next stop - Publix to get the ingredients to make an Elmo cake! She also got a Nemo balloon - her new favorite movie! We had lunch at home with daddy and then she went down for her nap. When she woke up, she got to watch Nemo...here she is snuggled with Annie watching Nemo

The Elmo cake! Annie did it all by herself - such a great job!!!

After cake, Ryan, Madison Claire & I went to Lifeway and bought her a children's Bible

and then went to Calypso for dinner. 2 funny stories from the day:

*First, Annie and I had several people at gymnastics and the grocery store ask us if today was her birthday. I felt like looking at them and saying "no...we just decided to put her in a "birthday girl" shirt with "birthday girl" hairbows and go out and about"! I mean, seriously?!?

*Second, Sarah sent me a message earlier saying "I love her birthday outfit and I love the Elmo cake...you are such a good mommy". My response was "Cheryl bought her the outfit and Annie made the cake...I'm a good outsourcer!" :)

She is now down for the night and I'm overwhelmed with emotions thinking about the last 2 years and how truly blessed I feel to be Madison Claire's mom. I know that she was created with a special purpose and it is such a joy to be a part of seeing her grow. Just like I said in my post about 11 years with Ryan, I truly could not have even begun to imagine what she would be like 2 years ago today when she was only 6 hours old! I love her sweet spirit, her inquisitive nature, her energy, even her stubbornness. Madison Claire - you are so special to me and I love you more than you know!!

11 years!

Wow - Monday, March 28th was the 11 year anniversary from my first date with Ryan. We went to Davis Kidd bookstore after a FCA meeting and stayed there talking until they closed. We then went to his car and talked for another 2 hours or so before heading back to Vanderbilt. It was that night, on our very first date, that Ryan knew I would be his wife. It's really unbelievable to think about.

Little did I know then how much I would be blessed, swept off my feet, and totally in love with my sweet Ryan. I couldn't have imagined then what an amazing husband he would become. I couldn't have begun to understand what an incredible father he would be. All of these things God had for me, and I didn't even know how to imagine them for myself. During this time of change for us, I am holding onto this truth - God knows our future as much today as he did on that night, March 28th, 2000. He has greater plans and dreams for us than we can have for ourselves or imagine now, and He is faithful! I take comfort in that today.

On Monday, the McSwains kept Madison Claire (thank you, Cheryl & Gary!!) so we could go out. We went to Maggianos for dinner and then started a new tradition on this anniverary date of going to the bookstore and picking out a book for our children.

I love you, Ryan...with all of my heart!!

First Haircut

We took Madison Claire to get her first haircut on Saturday and here are the pics. She did great until I wanted to take her picture at the end (she hates cameras right now) and started crying! All in all it was pretty uneventful...it took all of 5 minutes! She used the magna-doodle below to stay distracted during the haircut. We probably won't go back for a while...

Mini-me

Madison Claire LOVES her Nanny Annie (as has already been discussed over and over and over again on this blog!). Annie dresses Madison most morning (the reason she looks so stinking cute all of the time!). Here they are the other day dressed as twinkies! Annie had on a hot pink polo dress and Madison Claire was in hot pink polo shorts with a white polo shirt. I had to get a picture... If only Annie could be our Nanny until Madison Claire graduates from college to help with her sense of style! I'm afraid I'm not near as fashionable :)

Today...

Today, I was supposed to start a new job. Today, I'm still in my old job. Today, I'm thankful to have a job.

I've been with my current company (which will not be named based on a horribly embarrassing Google alert that went out to the entire company with my blog a year or so ago :)) for 8.5 years. Overall, it has been a great 8.5 years - I've met some lifelong friends, worked with the most amazing leaders & mentors, and have most importantly had a job where I loved my life. It has had it's ups and downs - ranging from great memories from the field t0 incredible responsibility in leading recruiting efforts on campus to the acquisition in 2008 and losing Chris in the process to my role changing and not being a part of the practice anymore.

I've considered leaving every year for the past 3-4 years because Recruiting lost it's challenge for me several years ago. I'm good at it and I add value to the firm but I could do it in my sleep. Some days I love that - it usually comes with little stress and allows me to have a great work/life balance. Some days I hate that because it feels like I'm settling and that I could do so much more/contribute so much more if I were in a different role. Every year, I've talked myself out of leaving for a few reasons - some fear of the unknown and doing something different but mostly because I have such great flexibility in my current role and I know that I can still work & love my life and be a good mom & wife.

One of the great mentors that I've had with my current company (the one that is not to be named), Steve, left in early 2010. He landed at a different company here in Nashville in the summer of 2010. I always said that I would work with Steve in a heartbeat - no questions asked. He's just one of those people that everyone wants to work for. So...when an opportunity came up with the company where he is now, it felt like maybe the timing was right to finally make the change into a new role. After meeting with several different people, learning more about the role, and receiving the formal offer, I decided to accept! The role was Sr. Director of Payer Services and I was going to essentially be managing the relationships for this company with their major payer clients.

I gave notice in early February with intentions of my last day being March 11th. It was hard telling everyone that I've worked with for the past 8.5 years that I would be leaving but everyone was so supportive and wonderful. They didn't want me to leave but were excited about the opportunity and ultimately understood that I was just "done with Recruiting" and ready for the next step in my professional career. I then began the difficult task of trying to wrap my mind around how I could possibly get 8.5 years worth of information that was in my brain down onto paper to transition to someone else. Even just going through my email was a task that seemed almost too overwhelming to even accomplish! We started recruiting for my replacement - a process that took a lot longer than I was expecting.

The plan was for me to finish up on March 11th, take the week of March 13th off, and start with the new company today, March 21st. On Thursday, March 3rd, Steve called and said he wanted to meet. To make a long story short, Steve came across some information that he didn't see eye-to-eye on with the head of the company and he resigned that day. So - here I am, one week before I'm supposed to leave my current job, and I'm finding some red flags and concerns about the new job. There was a time where for about 2 hours I seriously thought that there was a chance that both Ryan and I would not have jobs and we've got Baby #2 on the way in 2 months. I quickly got back to my faith that God is in control - thanks in part to Ryan talking me off the ledge - and we began to talk about our options. We met with Steve again that evening and I began to think about how I would approach my boss about the option of staying.

I should mention that my current boss just started in January, so I wasn't too sure that he would want me back on the team. I did tell him (and everyone else for that matter) that I was "done with Recruiting", "didn't find it challenging anymore", and "needed a change". So if I put myself in his shoes, I'm not seeing how I'm a good long term candidate for his team! I ended up talking with him on Friday morning - March 4th - and basically having a really awkward conversation that went something like "so...if I decided I wanted to stay, would that be an option?". He was great and said "absolutely, of course, we'd love for you too". I asked for the weekend to think it over as I still had the opportunity to go to the new company.

Ryan and I prayed about it over the weekend and continued to process the pros/cons of making a change vs. staying. I ended up talking with my boss on Monday morning, March 7th and letting him know that I'd like to stay. I then had to have the conversation of "just kidding..I'm not leaving" with about 50 people that I had told I was leaving. It wasn't a fun conversation to have but it helped that people were so excited that I had decided to stay. Like I said - I work with amazing people!

Ryan said that God is rarely early but He is never late...and boy is that true. I can't imagine if I would have started the new job this week and then Steve resigned 2 weeks later. I'm also thankful for the timing in that my replacement hadn't been found so I still had a job available to me. In some ways, it would have been easier if I hadn't had to go through all of the awkwardness of resigning and then coming back, but I'm also really proud of myself - that I had the courage to do it when I felt it was the right thing to do, and that it forced me to be honest with myself and others about what I'm not getting out of my current role.

Some people have felt sorry for me - like staying isn't my first choice or is a bad option. I have mourned the loss of the new opportunity and what I thought it could be (professionally, financially, etc.) but staying is not a bad option! It was a hard decision for me to make to leave when there were no red flags with the new opportunity, so it was a fairly easy decision to make to stay once there were some concerns. I haven't left for the past 8.5 years for a reason - I'm not going to leave for just any opportunity - it has to be the right opportunity and I'm trusting that when that comes along, God will make it clear to us. In the meantime, I'm trusting that this is where I'm supposed to be - and thinking about all of the great things about staying here (including being able to sleep until 7:45am, be home with Madison Claire and the baby everyday, not having to go into an office, not having to pump every day at an office, having the flexibility to work from any location, having the flexibility to move anywhere for Ryan's job if we need to, and most importantly - loving my life - even if I just like, not love, my job). So don't feel sorry for me...I certainly don't!

I'm not sure what this means long term, but for now, I was happy to roll out of bed at 7:45 this morning, have breakfast with Madison Claire, have lunch with Ryan at home, celebrate Madison Claire pee-peeing in the potty all day long (more to come on this in another post later) and have Madison Claire pulling on my pant leg at 5:15 while I stood in the kitchen cooking dinner. All of these things wouldn't have happened if I had been in my new office today. I'm thankful for God's providence for our family.

So - here I am...on March 21st...the day I was supposed to start my new job, still in my old job, but thankful to have a job! If you are still reading now - kudos to you! That was a long post, but I want to be able to look back and remember this one day.

Spring Break 2011

*WARNING - this is going to be a long post with a lot of pictures! They are all just so cute, I couldn't narrow them down...I know, I know...I'm such a mom.

This past week was Ryan's spring break so we took a family trip (me, Ryan, Madison Claire, and the 4th member of our family - Nanny Annie) down to Destin for the week. We stayed at One Water Place (thanks, mom & dad!). We got there late on Friday night and stayed through the following Saturday. We had beautiful weather every day we were there! Madison Claire did great sleeping in a room by herself (in a big king bed) and I quickly realized after the first morning there that one of the best perks of having Annie with us on vacation was that when Madison Claire woke up at 6:30am, Ryan and I could keep sleeping! Unfortunately, baby boy is waking me up pretty early these days anyway so I didn't sleep much past 8am (those of you who know me well know I can usually sleep until at least 10am!) but it was still such a great treat - especially as I think this was the last vacation before the chaos and sleeplessness of nights with a newborn that will come in the next 2 months. Annie - THANK YOU for your help - it was such a blessing to us!

Most days, once Ryan and I got up, we would all hang out at the condo in the morning and then when Madison Claire went down for her nap, Annie and I would head to the pool and Ryan would stay up in the condo with MC. Once she woke up, he would bring her down and we'd all enjoy some pool time together. The lower pool at One Water Place wasn't heated and it was FREEZING!!! The upper pool was heated, so that's where we spent our time. I wasn't sure how Madison Claire would react to the water but she did okay! She LOVED going to the pool and was happiest just sitting on the top step with her legs in the water. The first day she had fun letting Ryan swim around with her in the pool but she got a little more cautious as the week went on. I think her favorite part was getting to put on her bathing suit - every morning when she would wake up, she would run to it and want to put it on. She also knew when the elevator came that one side led to the parking garage and the other side led to the pool so when we would stop at the parking garage she'd get really upset because she wanted to go to the pool. She'd point to one side of the elevator and say "car" and then would point to the other side and say "pool".

Speaking of the elevator - she of course loved to push the buttons and also thought the elevator could understand her as everytime it would open, she would run in and say "thank you". It was precious - wish I could have gotten it on video.

After our afternoons at the pool, we'd come in and shower and then head out for an early dinner and come back to put Madison Claire down and watch a movie. Multiply that by 7 nights, and that was pretty much the trip! It was so relaxing and fun! Annie kept Madison Claire 2 nights so Ryan and I could go out on our own and we also got to go to dinner with our friends the Smiths while we were there too...it was such a treat! Annie and I did our fair share of shopping (think Destin Commons twice, the Outlet mall probably 4 or 5 times, and a few other boutiques thrown in) and spent way too much money. Oh well....that's what vacation is for, right?!?

We kept thinking while we were there that this was our last trip just the 3 (or 4) of us and that the next time we come to Destin, baby boy will be here. That is so hard to believe. It was a great trip though, and one we'll definitely remember!! Enjoy the pictures...and you have to look at the 3 videos at the end...they are my favorite!

The view at One Water Place - never gets old!

The pool - we spent most of the time in the top pool because it was heated

Madison Claire's favorite activity was to run circles on the balcony outside - she seriously did this for at least 30 minutes straight one morning. See the video at the end for live shots!

More balcony running - the next day

Making a turn on the balcony run

One night Annie kept MC and Ryan and I had dinner at Bonefish Grill & then ice cream at Kilwins - yum!

Playing at the Destin Commons play area

Ryan said "oh - let's let her go in the fountain"

Cheerleader pose

She has daddy wrapped around her little finger! She isn't clothed because we had no dry clothes or towel - we had not planned on the fountain adventure

She wanted an Ice-ee and daddy said "okay"

Swimming with daddy

Sunbathing - one of her favorite spots

2 peas in a pod....Madison Claire LOVES her Annie

Wanting some of Annie's milkshake at Chick-fil-A

Finally got it away from her

Notice that she now has 2 straws in there - 1 wasn't enough

In case any of you are wondering if I was actually on this vacation (I did all of the picture taking) here is one of me & my belly at 30.5 weeks

At Mellow Mushroom for dinner

We went back to the play area at Destin Commons this day - Madison Claire had so much fun

Riding the Choo-Choo with Daddy

Back to the fountain - this time prepared with bathing suit, towel & change of clothes!

Going to the beach

She had so much time with Daddy - so sweet

This child loves the beach - could be there all day picking up sand and throwing it in the ocean

Watching a helicopter fly over us

The beach & water was as beautiful as I can ever remember seeing it - and I've been going to Destin for at least 15 years....

I mean - is this the cutest bathing suit you've ever seen? We were in LOVE!

Once again - wouldn't leave Annie's side

Our last night out

My shopping purchases - not pictured is a shirt for Ryan, 3 shirts for me, a pair of leggings & a pair of shoes...I wasn't kidding when I said I did some damage!

We stopped at the Donut Hole on our way out of town (our 3rd time there for the trip) and Ryan got enough donuts to feed an army. He gave Madison Claire this one in her car seat - TROUBLE!!! She spent most of the time using her thumb to dig in and eat all of the icing that was in the middle - take that and a lot of powder all over her and the car seat and that was pretty much the scene when she was finished! Once again - thank you Lord for Nanny Annie who had her and the car seat clean before we even got across the Mid Bay Bridge! See the video below for an action shot of the donut....

My Dancing Diva - this is hilarious!

Swimming with Daddy & trip to the beach

Balcony Running - her favorite aerobic activity of the week