I know I have a lot to update on from January, but I had to do this quick post tonight before I forgot about it. We joined a gym this month and it's been a little hard for me when dropping Madison Claire off & picking her up. The very first time we went, when we came to pick her up she was at a table by herself with her head down on the table looking so sad. It just broke my heart.
Each time we go now, I talk with her about playing with some friends and it turns out that she has found a new "lovey" at the gym. It is a stuffed pink pig and every time I pick her up, she is holding that pig. When we get in the car and I ask if she had fun, she'll say "yes". If I ask her who she played with, she'll say "the pig".
She is also super excited to see me & Annie when we come in to get her and she usually jumps up, screams "mommy", throws the pink pig on the floor and comes running across the room. While it's very sweet, I usually tell her to go pick up the pig and put it back where it belongs - in a toy bin with other stuffed animals.
Tonight, when I went to pick her up, sure enough, there she was sitting with her pink pig. She saw me, jumped up, screamed "mommy" and walked straight to that toy bin to put away the pink pig before running over to me. I was so proud! I think I would have given her one million dollars in that moment if she had asked me for it! Fortunately for us, all she wanted was to watch Beauty & the Beast for the 5 minute car ride home. Done and done.
Proud mama :)
Monday, January 30, 2012
Thursday, January 26, 2012
2011 Reflections
2011 was a year where we experienced some of the highest highs and some of the biggest disappointments. We experienced a deep well of emotions ranging from pain to betrayal to sadness to disappointment from CPA, walked through months of job searching for Ryan which was exciting and stressful at the same time (though mostly stressful), moved from the place that was home to us, that we spent so many days and hours picking out every detail and making every decision on, moved further away from family and friends into a rental house in Memphis, rats and all. Those of you who know me well know that being an encourager is something that comes fairly naturally to me - I consider it to be one of my spiritual gifts. There were times in 2011 where I felt that my "encouraging bucket" was completely dry. There were more times than I would like to remember where I felt my heart just ache and I surely cried more tears in 2011 than I have in the previous 10 years combined. There were parts of 2011 that I don't want to think about or remember.
And then there was the buddy. Born amidst uncertain circumstances and tremendous stress in our home and yet he is the most laid back, easy going baby you will ever meet. He spent the first 6 weeks of his life back and forth in the car house hunting in Memphis, and never really got to enjoy a nursery to call his own and yet he exudes joy. The joy we experienced in adding him to our family, watching Madison Claire grow into her role as a sister, learning how to work together to manage a family of 4, and being forced to focus on forming a "new normal" in Memphis brought us closer together. To this day, I look at his sweet face and am in awe that God chose Ryan and I to be his parents and I am thankful.
Madison Claire seemed to change over night from a toddler to a little girl. She went from calling Annie "a-ee" to "annie", "dadu" to "dora", "pippys" to "pigtails", and "mommy" to "mom" (that one still freaks me out!). She embraced having Mac in the house better than I could have imagined- loving him, always wanting to help, and continuing to be a happy child. Her version of a temper tantrum was pretending to be asleep (I'll take that over a screaming child any day) and she finally began eating - a lot, as if to make up from the first 2 years where she ate like a bird. She needs reminding, but is gracious to others saying please & thank you pretty close to 100% of the time. She doesn't really like to share, but she is smart and thinks if she gives you a different toy, she might distract you long enough to forget you really want the one she has. She loves her "bear bear" and found the replacement we bought so now has "two bear bears" (so much for that great idea!). She started going to preschool in Memphis 2 days a week and potty trained herself. She loves riding her bike, brushing her teeth, playing outside, and cheering for daddy at his football games. She had a hard time when I went back to work, but talks often about how she is going to work one day and likes to play with her computer when I'm working on mine. Grayson is her best friend. She is friendly to others, but is timid when put in new environments where she doesn't know anyone. She loves going to church and singing songs. She is vibrant, and funny, and beautiful...and once again, I am thankful. Thankful beyond belief that she is our daughter.
And then there is Ryan. My amazing husband and best friend. I am most thankful for him. It sounds strange to say, but he is all-in. What I mean by that is that he is invested in our family. He is invested in me, he is invested in our kids, and when he is home he is not just here, he is helpful and engaged and active. He is a great example to our kids of a Godly husband and father. It has been and continues to be my prayer that he would feel affirmed at work, but I want to publicly affirm that he is appreciated and loved at home and that in this moment I could not imagine a better husband on the planet.
And for me, in 2011, I'm thankful to have a job that allows me to be home with my kids and have flexibility in my schedule. That even though I don't love my job, I love my life - and that is more important. I'm thankful that God stepped in to prevent me from taking the new job in early 2011, so that I could be flexible and work from anywhere with Ryan's job circumstances. I've struggled with getting the baby weight off from Mac and have to remind myself somewhat frequently to give myself some grace. I'm thankful for Annie - in so many ways. That she loves my kids as much as I do, that she knows them - in all their glory & all their faults - and truly loves them. That in moving to a city where I knew no one and had no friends, I have Annie not only here but living under the same roof. I would choose Annie as a friend even if she wasn't our nanny, and that has been a blessing, especially during the circumstances of this year. I've been busy adjusting to life in Memphis, working, going to Pure Barre class, and trying to meet some friends. I am thankful for the women that God is bringing into my life from ECS & River City Church. This year in review from my Facebook status does a nice job of summarizing my year quite nicely:
That last statement is so true. We have so much to be thankful for - our health, our family, each other. Most of all, I am thankful that I know God - not just know about him, but really know him. I am thankful for His peace amidst difficult times. I am thankful that His plans for us are greater than we could ask or imagine and I am thankful that His spirit has brought me peace to not worry about the future. I am thankful that God used the amazing gift of Baby Mac to remind us that He is faithful, His timing is perfect, and that the things in life that matter most are not where we earn our paycheck or how we are treated by others - that it's not where we spend our days but who we spend them with.
Here's to a much less eventful 2012, being thankful, and spending time with those you love.
love, the mcswains
And then there was the buddy. Born amidst uncertain circumstances and tremendous stress in our home and yet he is the most laid back, easy going baby you will ever meet. He spent the first 6 weeks of his life back and forth in the car house hunting in Memphis, and never really got to enjoy a nursery to call his own and yet he exudes joy. The joy we experienced in adding him to our family, watching Madison Claire grow into her role as a sister, learning how to work together to manage a family of 4, and being forced to focus on forming a "new normal" in Memphis brought us closer together. To this day, I look at his sweet face and am in awe that God chose Ryan and I to be his parents and I am thankful.
Madison Claire seemed to change over night from a toddler to a little girl. She went from calling Annie "a-ee" to "annie", "dadu" to "dora", "pippys" to "pigtails", and "mommy" to "mom" (that one still freaks me out!). She embraced having Mac in the house better than I could have imagined- loving him, always wanting to help, and continuing to be a happy child. Her version of a temper tantrum was pretending to be asleep (I'll take that over a screaming child any day) and she finally began eating - a lot, as if to make up from the first 2 years where she ate like a bird. She needs reminding, but is gracious to others saying please & thank you pretty close to 100% of the time. She doesn't really like to share, but she is smart and thinks if she gives you a different toy, she might distract you long enough to forget you really want the one she has. She loves her "bear bear" and found the replacement we bought so now has "two bear bears" (so much for that great idea!). She started going to preschool in Memphis 2 days a week and potty trained herself. She loves riding her bike, brushing her teeth, playing outside, and cheering for daddy at his football games. She had a hard time when I went back to work, but talks often about how she is going to work one day and likes to play with her computer when I'm working on mine. Grayson is her best friend. She is friendly to others, but is timid when put in new environments where she doesn't know anyone. She loves going to church and singing songs. She is vibrant, and funny, and beautiful...and once again, I am thankful. Thankful beyond belief that she is our daughter.
And then there is Ryan. My amazing husband and best friend. I am most thankful for him. It sounds strange to say, but he is all-in. What I mean by that is that he is invested in our family. He is invested in me, he is invested in our kids, and when he is home he is not just here, he is helpful and engaged and active. He is a great example to our kids of a Godly husband and father. It has been and continues to be my prayer that he would feel affirmed at work, but I want to publicly affirm that he is appreciated and loved at home and that in this moment I could not imagine a better husband on the planet.
And for me, in 2011, I'm thankful to have a job that allows me to be home with my kids and have flexibility in my schedule. That even though I don't love my job, I love my life - and that is more important. I'm thankful that God stepped in to prevent me from taking the new job in early 2011, so that I could be flexible and work from anywhere with Ryan's job circumstances. I've struggled with getting the baby weight off from Mac and have to remind myself somewhat frequently to give myself some grace. I'm thankful for Annie - in so many ways. That she loves my kids as much as I do, that she knows them - in all their glory & all their faults - and truly loves them. That in moving to a city where I knew no one and had no friends, I have Annie not only here but living under the same roof. I would choose Annie as a friend even if she wasn't our nanny, and that has been a blessing, especially during the circumstances of this year. I've been busy adjusting to life in Memphis, working, going to Pure Barre class, and trying to meet some friends. I am thankful for the women that God is bringing into my life from ECS & River City Church. This year in review from my Facebook status does a nice job of summarizing my year quite nicely:
Lauren McSwain - My Year in Status (2011)
Today is the big day - what's your prediction?? Girl or boy??* Hearing Madison Claire say Thank You Mama has got to be one of the sweetest things * is heartbroken * home sweet home with the 2 people I love most in the whole wide world * ultrasound today looked good - Praise the Lord * So thankful for Madison Claire...HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my sweet angel! *I love my church * loves that Madison Claire has to kiss and hug "baby brother" (i.e. my belly) before she will go to sleep and as soon as she wakes up - precious! * Baby Mac is here! 7lbs 15 oz, 19.5 inches * Happy Wedding Day to Meredith & Ben!! * We decided spur of the moment to put our house on the market last weekend - it went up on Sunday night and we had an offer by 1pm on Monday. Fast forward a few complicated days and we are under contract set to close in mid-July. In this market that can't be anything other than God! Just another sign that we are supposed to be in Memphis! Thanks to Kara Moore for her real estate help! * Seven years ago today I married my best friend. I could not have dreamed what an AMAZING husband and dad he would be. Happy Anniversary to my sweet Ryan! I love you, Babe! * Baby Mac rolled over yesterday * Everyone should have a 4 month old in their life - it's seriously the sweetest age! * When we pull up to Sonic, Madison Claire says "diet coke, sweet tea, no thanks". She has memorized our order down to the "no thanks" when they ask if we want anything else! Priceless! * She did it!!!! First night with no diapers or pull ups was a success! Proud mama :) * Going to bed tonight grateful for so many things....
That last statement is so true. We have so much to be thankful for - our health, our family, each other. Most of all, I am thankful that I know God - not just know about him, but really know him. I am thankful for His peace amidst difficult times. I am thankful that His plans for us are greater than we could ask or imagine and I am thankful that His spirit has brought me peace to not worry about the future. I am thankful that God used the amazing gift of Baby Mac to remind us that He is faithful, His timing is perfect, and that the things in life that matter most are not where we earn our paycheck or how we are treated by others - that it's not where we spend our days but who we spend them with.
Here's to a much less eventful 2012, being thankful, and spending time with those you love.
love, the mcswains
Saturday, January 7, 2012
Go Dores!
We drove back to Memphis on New Years Eve, which happened to be the day of the Liberty Bowl which featured the Vanderbilt Commodores! We all sported our Vandy gear for the ride home.
Over the 2 weeks we spent 28 hours in the car. The kids were AMAZING until the last 2 hours before we got home. Everything was fine and then it was as if we had drive through an invisible barrier because all of a sudden Madison Claire started crying uncontrollably in the backseat, which woke up the buddy who started making screaming noises that I've never even heard before. Ryan and I were just looking at each other with a look of complete confusion on our faces - we were at a total loss as to what had happened or what to do! We finally got Madison Claire calmed down and spent the next 2 hours trying to get home and doing whatever possible not to set her over the edge. Luckily watching Tangled seemed to calm her down a little and yes, even though it was probably the 3rd time she had watched it that day, and it was 9:30pm, we let her watch it! Anything was better than crazy child in the backseat! We pulled in the driveway at 11:15pm and by the time we got the kids in bed and the car unloaded it was 11:50pm so we decided to stay awake for 10 more minutes to ring in 2012!
We stopped in Montgomery for a visit with the Haleys and added even more Vandy spirit to our midst :).
Over the 2 weeks we spent 28 hours in the car. The kids were AMAZING until the last 2 hours before we got home. Everything was fine and then it was as if we had drive through an invisible barrier because all of a sudden Madison Claire started crying uncontrollably in the backseat, which woke up the buddy who started making screaming noises that I've never even heard before. Ryan and I were just looking at each other with a look of complete confusion on our faces - we were at a total loss as to what had happened or what to do! We finally got Madison Claire calmed down and spent the next 2 hours trying to get home and doing whatever possible not to set her over the edge. Luckily watching Tangled seemed to calm her down a little and yes, even though it was probably the 3rd time she had watched it that day, and it was 9:30pm, we let her watch it! Anything was better than crazy child in the backseat! We pulled in the driveway at 11:15pm and by the time we got the kids in bed and the car unloaded it was 11:50pm so we decided to stay awake for 10 more minutes to ring in 2012!
Florida
We headed out the Monday after Christmas for the last stop on our holiday adventure - Florida! It was nice to be in warmer weather - it got up to 70 degrees 2 days we were there. We took Madison Claire to the beach (which she continues to love), did some shopping, spent time with my family, saw a movie, and just relaxed. As usual, it was a great trip!
Christmas Day!
Madison Claire slept with us on Christmas Eve and woke up bright and early on Christmas morning. We woke up the buddy who was pretty out of it wondering what was going on and went out to see what Santa had brought. Madison Claire was pretty overwhelmed - she just stood there silent and then said after some time, "this is for buddy" to one of the gifts that was for Mac. Once she came around a little bit, she loved all of her princess dolls, dress up outfits, and the doll bed. We played with the gifts from Santa, had breakfast, and then went to the McSwains church. It was great to be able to go to church and celebrate the birth of our Savior on Christmas Day!
After church we came home (after finding an open gas station so I could get a fountain diet coke...I am my mothers child :)) and put the kids down for a nap. After naptime we opened more gifts and had an amazing Christmas day meal thanks to Cheryl. Madison Claire continued to be a bit overwhlemed with everything - so much so that she left 3 presents wrapped in princess paper under the tree. She had no interest in opening them so Cheryl is going to hang on to them and bring them to Memphis for her birthday. Nice!
Madison Claire's favorite gift may have been the card that I got for her, which had Rapunzel from the movie Tangled singing to her when she opened it up. She did not want to part with that card. I think she would have slept with it if I would have let her. Note to self - next year, no presents, just a singing card!
It was such a great day and was the last of the 7 days we spent in Nsahville with the McSwains. Madison Claire got to spend some good time with Nana & Papa, the buddy loved the dogs, and Ryan and I got to have a few nights out just the two of us, eating at some of our old Nashville favorites, and spending time with our Nashville friends.
Family, friends, food, and celebrating the birth of the savior of the world...what else could we ask for?!?
After church we came home (after finding an open gas station so I could get a fountain diet coke...I am my mothers child :)) and put the kids down for a nap. After naptime we opened more gifts and had an amazing Christmas day meal thanks to Cheryl. Madison Claire continued to be a bit overwhlemed with everything - so much so that she left 3 presents wrapped in princess paper under the tree. She had no interest in opening them so Cheryl is going to hang on to them and bring them to Memphis for her birthday. Nice!
Madison Claire's favorite gift may have been the card that I got for her, which had Rapunzel from the movie Tangled singing to her when she opened it up. She did not want to part with that card. I think she would have slept with it if I would have let her. Note to self - next year, no presents, just a singing card!
It was such a great day and was the last of the 7 days we spent in Nsahville with the McSwains. Madison Claire got to spend some good time with Nana & Papa, the buddy loved the dogs, and Ryan and I got to have a few nights out just the two of us, eating at some of our old Nashville favorites, and spending time with our Nashville friends.
Family, friends, food, and celebrating the birth of the savior of the world...what else could we ask for?!?
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| Goodmorning & Merry Christmas!! |
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| The 3 presents that remained unopened :) |
Christmas Lights
I wrote earlier in December that Madison Claire loves Christmas lights and it broke my heart that we didn't have any Christmas decorations up at our house because they are all packed amidst all of our other things. Well...Gary came through in a big way! Check out the McSwain house this Christmas:
Christmas Eve
Christmas Eve we headed out to Stoney River with the McSwains for dinner and then came home to wait for Santa! Madison Claire said goodbye to Howie (who made the trip with us to Cincinnati and Nashville) and we tried to explain to her that she wouldn't see him until next Christmas. She doesn't quite understand that and still wakes up some mornings asking where Howie is :). We got all of the gifts out in front of the tree and I had a few moments of feeling overwhelmed at how much "stuff" there was. We truly are so blessed. My kids have more toys than they could ever play with, more clothes than they will ever be able to wear, and yet here was more. I said a prayer that night that my kids would have grateful hearts and that they would learn to be good "sharers" and "givers away" (I'm sure that's not a real word, but you get my drift). How do you teach about the birth of Jesus amidst all of the "stuff"? I'm not really sure yet, but Madison Claire has been able to digest that we celebrate Jesus's birthday at Christmas and that his mom is Mary. She will also tell you pretty quickly after that "my teachers say it's not my birthday" which leads us to think that when they were celebrating Jesus's birthday at school, Madison Claire made some comment about it being her birthday too and the teachers telling her it wasn't. Too funny. Hopefully next year she will be able to comprehend a little more than that :)
Cookies for Santa
Madison Claire made cookies for Santa with daddy and was so proud of them! We set them out that night and she made sure we all knew that there were crumbs left in the morning :)
Girls Day Out!
I told Ryan that over Christmas break I wanted to spend some good one-on-one time with Madison Claire. I was in need of a pedicure, so I decided we'd make a date of it! We hit Sonic first and I ordered Madison Claire her own drink - what she calls a Cherry Mermaid Slush (aka a Cherry Limeade Slush) and my typical Diet Coke. Then we hit the nail salon where I had a pedicure and she had her toenails & fingernails painted. I let her pick whatever color she wanted and she chose purple polish with sparkles. She did a great job staying still on my lap & was obsessed with the fluorescent light dryer. It was so much fun...I hope we can do it more often!
Trip to Cincinnati
We took a trip up to Cincinnati the weekend before Christmas to visit with Ryan's extended family. It was a quick trip, but a great one. The kids made the trip well and we got to see both sides of the family. I made a trip up to the outlet mall near our hotel and scored a great deal on a North Face jacket for Ryan for Christmas. Sunday afternoon we headed over to the Terry's to visit. They loved the kids -- especially meeting the buddy for the first time. He was a little charmer!
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| Grandma Terry & the buddy |
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| 4 Generations :) |
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| The buddy got his first toy of his own from Grandma & Grandpa Terry! |
On Monday, we met up with the McSwain crew. Grandpa McSwain loved seeing the kids too, and we had a lot of fun with all of the little second cousins. Madison Claire called them "my friends" and talked about them for several days! So fun!
Fast friends
I don't know what I like more about this video - the buddy's face/reaction or Madison Claire having so much fun with Bella & Addison!
We had a great visit with everyone and only wish it wasn't so far away!!
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